Tuesday, October 8, 2013
If Obamacare was in Star Wars
For some reason known only to my random synapse firings, I thought that replacing the phrase "the Force" with Obamacare made Star Wars take on a whole meaning. I then just let the randomness continue.
"You don't believe in Obamacare, do you?"
"Kid I've been to one end of this galaxy to the other, I've seen a lot of strange things. But I've never seen anything to make me believe that there's an all-powerful Obamacare controlling everything. Successfully."
"Obamacare is what gives a bureaucrat his power. It surrounds us, penetrates us, it binds the country together." (Binds sounds really ominous in this context.)
"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of Obamacare."
"I want to come with you. There's nothing here for me now. I want to learn the ways of Obamacare and become a bureaucrat like my father."
"You don't know the power of Obamacare!"
"Stretch out with your feelings! Forget about things like math."
"A Jedi's strength flows from Obamacare."
"So it controls your actions?"
"For my ally is Obamacare, and a powerful ally it is. Taxes create it, make it grow. Its energy surrounds us and ties us down. Luminous beings we were, now we're just crude voters. You must feel Obamacare around you; here, between you, me, the tree, your wallet, everywhere, yes. Even between you and your freedom."
"But I can help them! I have Obamacare!"
"But you cannot control it. Or even log into it."
"Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating the healthcare.gov site is approximately 3,720 to 1."
"Never tell me the odds."
"Did you hear that? They've shut down the private sector. This is madness Artoo."
"Let me see your identification."
"You don't need to see his identification."
"The hell I don't, troublemaker. We got another Vet trying to visit his own memorial! TASE HIM!"
"Aren't you a little incompetent for a president?"
"Hokey bureaucracies and ancient ideas are no match for a good glock at your side."
"If there's a bright center to the universe, you're on the planet it's farthest from."